I humbly consider myself a rational, college educated, somewhat mature, and fairly intelligent adult. I believe in fairness, responsibility, avoiding violence towards others whenever possible, and treating others as I would like to be treated. All in all, I feel that I am a good person trying to be productive member of society.
Then I get in my car...
Somehow, the act of turning the key in an automobile's ignition spontaneously causes the active flow of neurons in my brain to stop feeding into whatever receptors are responsible for rational, emotional regulation. I'm not sure if it's neurological only, or if it's some repressed side of my temperamental personality, or a combination of both. All I do know is that my humanity slips back to some primal form of self-preservation, and I find myself fiercely defending the small part of the world that somehow has now become mine: MY LANE.
I've had people annoy me before. I don't feel the need to stomp portions of their anatomy flat underfoot. I've had people aggravate me before. I don't find myself wanting to dangle them over a fire by their toenails. I've been mad before. I don't feel the need to shoulder-block them into a cactus. But cut me off in traffic and I suddenly get the urge to drive my car up their...
*AHEM*
Anyway... the point is that I have road rage when I drive, and I can't explain why. To make matters worse, this phenomena is a source of constant confusion to me even though I experience it on a daily basis. Consider this: when we walk down the street, someone could be so crass as to bump us as they pass by, or step in front of us causing us to stop suddenly, and we usually think little of it. We might get annoyed or even a little mad, but we keep walking. Now if this happens while we drive, many of us would consider it cause to follow, trap, and maim the perpretrator for the absolute audacity they had just demonstrated. This is a level of insanity that most people get studied for. Yet, we allow this type of behavior to exist in civilized society. If this makes sense to you, please explain it to me, because I'm guilty of it and I don't even get it.
Nevertheless, it's a problem I'm trying to curb. I am in total agreement that reacting this way in a moving vehicle is most likely a recipe for disaster. And that disaster is spelled L-A-W-S-U-I-T at it's best conclusion. But the issue still remains, how is it that a large percentage of our society feels any degree of ownership of any given stretch of public road should be given to them just because they are driving on it? In other words, WHO MADE YOU THE KING OF THE ROAD WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING? The point is, this mental breakdown needs to be researched so that whatever offending gene, chromosome, chemical, or psychosis that is responsible for these reactions can be supressed and locked away inside Area 51. Regardless of the social implications or the moral conflicts that road rage causes, the bottom line is this brain malfunction needs to corrected in all of us for the simple fact that we are pissed off people in full control of fast, heavy, manuverable vehicles capable of squashing a human like a bug on a windshield. Not the best situation for a species that left the "survival of the fittest" mentality back in the days of public hangings and beheadings. In the end, it needs to stop.
But I would also suggest one additional aspect of the road rage problem that needs to be discussed. For those of you who don't experience road rage, please help those of us who have this instability by doing two simple things: remember that we're out there and drive like you know it. Get out of the left lane if you're not interested in driving at warp speed. Use the little stick on the left (no, the other left side) of your steering wheel that makes the clicking sound when you push it up or down. If you DO signal, then actually LOOK before you change lanes (no, using the Force does not count). Basically, road rage may not be justifiable, but let's not encourage it with ignorance and stupidity either.
There's no argument to the fact that road rage is no laughing matter as it pertains to public safety. Aggressive driving and rude behavior should have no place on the road. I feel like I'm doing my best to change my driving habits and I am making progress, and I also believe that more people should do the same. Still, it would help if I knew why I feel the need to yank an idiot through his car door's keyhole just for slamming on his breaks in front of me for no reason. We've got the patch, the epi-pen, and the pill to prevent other kinds of bad reactions. Maybe someone should figure out a suppository for road rage...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Grammatical De-Evolution (or, IDK Y I Bthr)
Let's be real here... the state of written communcation has degenerated into a mass of acronym laden drabble that belongs in a kindergarden student's wide rule black-and-white tablet. There,
I've said it.
Ok, not everybody likes to write... I get it. But it seems to me that some warped sense of urgency and a twisted definition of efficiency has replaced the fundamental ability to communicate through the written word. I'm not blind to the fact that we're living in an age where speed rules. I'll be the first to admit that I hate waiting. Heck, I'll cuss out someone if I'm behind them in traffic and they sit at a green light for more than 2 seconds (and that's being generous). But what we're talking about here is the basic human communication skill of placing words in a grammatically structured sentence. FULLY SPELLED words, to be specific.
Now granted, not all means of communication warrant an A+ sentence. Texting is a means to which I'll gladly give a pass. I'm not interested in paying more for fully spelled words, so I don't expect anyone else to have to it either. But email, blogs, and even twitter posts deserve the dignity of sounding like they were created by an intelligent human being. Do you have to sound like you're writing a dissertation? Of course not. But a few real words strung together in the right order isn't too much to ask.
Let me give you an example. A co-worker once emailed me the following:
"R U going 2 train th new ppl coming 2day 4 th confrence? can I b pt of it?"
WHAT??? What cave did you just crawl out of? And this was a manager! Yes, he was busy. Yes, he was in a hurry. Yes, this was a passing, casual email asking to be invited to a training. But really, would it have taken that much time to write:
"Are you going to train the new people coming today to the conference? Can I be part of it?"
Depending on the font, he must have saved himself all of an inch of typing. I barely could have farted in the time it would have taken him to fill out the sentence. No one is THAT busy...
This is not about being prim and proper. This is about a basic respect for the English language. I don't care that people make mistakes in grammar or spelling. If that were the case, I would have gone (officially) bonkers years ago. Every time the professional, rational and intelligent public accepts that writing like an idiot is "no big deal", we allow ourselves to accept a lower social standard as human beings. Is it any wonder that our verbal communication skills are starting to degenerate when a jumble of badly composed acronyms (loosely referred to as a "text message") is preferred over actually talking to the person? And let's think about this for a second... you're texing them over a C-E-L-L P-H-O-N-E! The last time I checked, 10 digits are faster to hit than a text message, no matter how many letters you leave out. Still not convinced? The phone book function... you know, where you found the number to text them anyway?
The solution? Capitalize something! Hit an extra key or two! Make it look like you're trying! Maybe we should think back to those days when you were graded on how well you wrote. You know, when you got marked down for a using "there" instead of "their". Or missed your "A" because you forgot to put a period at the end of a paragraph. Think back really hard; it was a time when your intelligence was actually judged on how well you wrote a real sentence. If you don't like the idea, maybe you should put down the Blackberry and think on it. No one likes sounding like a moron when they speak. Try applying that to when you write. That way I won't be LMAO at you.
I've said it.
Ok, not everybody likes to write... I get it. But it seems to me that some warped sense of urgency and a twisted definition of efficiency has replaced the fundamental ability to communicate through the written word. I'm not blind to the fact that we're living in an age where speed rules. I'll be the first to admit that I hate waiting. Heck, I'll cuss out someone if I'm behind them in traffic and they sit at a green light for more than 2 seconds (and that's being generous). But what we're talking about here is the basic human communication skill of placing words in a grammatically structured sentence. FULLY SPELLED words, to be specific.
Now granted, not all means of communication warrant an A+ sentence. Texting is a means to which I'll gladly give a pass. I'm not interested in paying more for fully spelled words, so I don't expect anyone else to have to it either. But email, blogs, and even twitter posts deserve the dignity of sounding like they were created by an intelligent human being. Do you have to sound like you're writing a dissertation? Of course not. But a few real words strung together in the right order isn't too much to ask.
Let me give you an example. A co-worker once emailed me the following:
"R U going 2 train th new ppl coming 2day 4 th confrence? can I b pt of it?"
WHAT??? What cave did you just crawl out of? And this was a manager! Yes, he was busy. Yes, he was in a hurry. Yes, this was a passing, casual email asking to be invited to a training. But really, would it have taken that much time to write:
"Are you going to train the new people coming today to the conference? Can I be part of it?"
Depending on the font, he must have saved himself all of an inch of typing. I barely could have farted in the time it would have taken him to fill out the sentence. No one is THAT busy...
This is not about being prim and proper. This is about a basic respect for the English language. I don't care that people make mistakes in grammar or spelling. If that were the case, I would have gone (officially) bonkers years ago. Every time the professional, rational and intelligent public accepts that writing like an idiot is "no big deal", we allow ourselves to accept a lower social standard as human beings. Is it any wonder that our verbal communication skills are starting to degenerate when a jumble of badly composed acronyms (loosely referred to as a "text message") is preferred over actually talking to the person? And let's think about this for a second... you're texing them over a C-E-L-L P-H-O-N-E! The last time I checked, 10 digits are faster to hit than a text message, no matter how many letters you leave out. Still not convinced? The phone book function... you know, where you found the number to text them anyway?
The solution? Capitalize something! Hit an extra key or two! Make it look like you're trying! Maybe we should think back to those days when you were graded on how well you wrote. You know, when you got marked down for a using "there" instead of "their". Or missed your "A" because you forgot to put a period at the end of a paragraph. Think back really hard; it was a time when your intelligence was actually judged on how well you wrote a real sentence. If you don't like the idea, maybe you should put down the Blackberry and think on it. No one likes sounding like a moron when they speak. Try applying that to when you write. That way I won't be LMAO at you.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Stand back, it's MY turn...
I've never been a technophobe. I love computers. I love gadgets. I grew up with a controller in my hand and megabytes in my blood (back with they were still kilobits). I had an Apple IIe (no not a Mac, an APPLE IIe) that I wrote my first real story on, I was there when Space Invaders, Pac Man and Donkey Kong were considered "state of the art". And when the World Wide Web hit the phone lines, I nearly forgot what sleep was for most of my adolescent life.
I also consider myself a writer. Words on a page have always been my forte. I've been known to write essays in the same amount of time it takes most people to ask how long the essay has to be. Although some of my friends and family think I'm sick, I actually enjoy writing and the process behind creating something from scratch. I'm even formally educated with a degree in creative writing (translation: I can write long essays that explore the intricacies of unemployment).
Considering all of this, it was only a matter of time before I threw my hat into the blog arena and started giving the world a chance to read what I have to write. Now, understand that this blog is not, I repeat NOT, designed to be a glorified soapbox to house the indulgent opinions and perspectives of anyone who is just smart enough to peck on a keyboard.
This blog is a soapbox to indulge the desire to express MY opinions and perspectives!
In all seriousness, I created this blog as an exercise for myself. I spend a good amount of time thinking about writing my book, but never really get much actual writing done. I've come to the realization that a lot of this is due to the fact that I see the attempt at writing even a single chapter of the book as just a small part of a larger whole and thus don't really feel like I'm actually finishing anything. No matter how much I write, there's always the next chapter, then the editing, then re-writes, and on and on. I'm not afraid of the process, but the process is missing the satisfaction of completion of short term goals. In other words, I'm tired of never seeing the finish line whenever I write. Realizing this, I've changed gears. Instead of worrying about running a marathon every time I open up a Word file, I'm starting my own blog and hitting the treadmill for a half-hour.
That realization has led me here. This blog is going to be a regular look into my perspectives and opinions on random, unrelated subjects. There will be some rants, some philosophy, lots of cynicism, frequent sarcasm, and a story or two mixed in. So, come back every now and then, yank on the handle, pull out the drawer and start thumbing through the clutter. You might find something here that you weren't even looking for.
I also consider myself a writer. Words on a page have always been my forte. I've been known to write essays in the same amount of time it takes most people to ask how long the essay has to be. Although some of my friends and family think I'm sick, I actually enjoy writing and the process behind creating something from scratch. I'm even formally educated with a degree in creative writing (translation: I can write long essays that explore the intricacies of unemployment).
Considering all of this, it was only a matter of time before I threw my hat into the blog arena and started giving the world a chance to read what I have to write. Now, understand that this blog is not, I repeat NOT, designed to be a glorified soapbox to house the indulgent opinions and perspectives of anyone who is just smart enough to peck on a keyboard.
This blog is a soapbox to indulge the desire to express MY opinions and perspectives!
In all seriousness, I created this blog as an exercise for myself. I spend a good amount of time thinking about writing my book, but never really get much actual writing done. I've come to the realization that a lot of this is due to the fact that I see the attempt at writing even a single chapter of the book as just a small part of a larger whole and thus don't really feel like I'm actually finishing anything. No matter how much I write, there's always the next chapter, then the editing, then re-writes, and on and on. I'm not afraid of the process, but the process is missing the satisfaction of completion of short term goals. In other words, I'm tired of never seeing the finish line whenever I write. Realizing this, I've changed gears. Instead of worrying about running a marathon every time I open up a Word file, I'm starting my own blog and hitting the treadmill for a half-hour.
That realization has led me here. This blog is going to be a regular look into my perspectives and opinions on random, unrelated subjects. There will be some rants, some philosophy, lots of cynicism, frequent sarcasm, and a story or two mixed in. So, come back every now and then, yank on the handle, pull out the drawer and start thumbing through the clutter. You might find something here that you weren't even looking for.
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