So, it's no secret that I've had a new edition to my family and it would be easy to say that I haven't added a post to my blog because of him. I'd be lying if I said this was true. Truth is, I hit a bit of a stand-still on inspiration and I haven't had much in the way of decent material to motivate myself into writing again. Plus, I've been changing diapers... which is enough to sap any one's creative mojo.
Today, I braved another look at my co-worker's blog just to see what was the latest car-wreck she had to report and I was pleasantly surprised to see I had made it into another one of her posts. And this time she didn't have to apologize for ripping my eyes out with another story involving her anatomy. No, you can't have her blog address... stop asking.
At any rate, her blog post involved a discussion we had about my son's sleeping habits and how different parents handle different situations with different solutions. We came to the mutual agreement that there really isn't a right or wrong when it comes to a parent genuinely trying to do what's best for their baby. I could go into the details of what was discussed, but this isn't the point of today's post. What struck me after I finished reading the post is how motivated I felt to post on my blog again. It wasn't the material being discussed, that part was incidental. It wasn't the fact that my name made it to her blog; I was flattered but didn't feel the need to respond or critique the post. It wasn't a competitive drive either; she writes as well as I do, (even better when she gets on a rant) and I'd be stupid to turn this into a "dueling banjos" posting.
What this really boils down to is a simple revelation I had after finishing the read: great writing begets great writing from writer to writer. It's not about the subject, although a controversial subject will do that regardless of the quality of writer. This is about reading the material from an effective writer and having a true appreciation from a writer's perspective that drives a writer to create something themselves. Putting two good words side-by-side, then two good sentences, and then two good paragraphs, eventually breeds a great piece of writing. That great piece of writing becomes the spark for another writing needing to get jolted out of their complacency. I think it's a safe assumption to make that a writer isn't inspired from within a glass box. The more we can touch, taste, feel, hear, see and smell, the more inspired we get. What inevitably motivates us further than our own sense is the experience of reading someone conveying those same motivations through their writing themselves. As writers, we absorb this a bit further than the average person and turn it inwards, and the end result is our hands on a keyboard.
The best part of this perspective is the ultimate viral effect is has within the writing community. One person gets a great idea and puts it to paper (or screen, as the case may be), another person gets then spark, then two more, then more... before you know it, there are blog posts a-plenty! Articles are being written! Editorials explode! Books and magazines written for the masses! Words flow like water breaking through the dams of ignorance! Writers unite to take over the...
*AHEM*
Sorry, as you can see I'm passionate about this. Regardless of my temporary psychosis, you cannot deny that a single idea can change more than just one person's blog. In the end, great writing begets great writing, and great writers beget great writers. So, my thanks to my writing compatriot who has once again spurred me back into the arena of sharing my opinions, regardless if the public wanted to hear them or not. Hey, it's what I do... Thanks, M.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Revelations of the Daddy Promotion
Well, things are somewhat settling into a routine at our home, thanks in no small part to my Mom who is graciously staying with us for 4 weeks to help out. Personally, I think it's just her way of getting Evann to bond with her before my Dad gets a chance to spoil him, but I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth (who comes up with these sayings??? And why do I still use them???).
At any rate, in the short 2 weeks I've officially been a father, I've been actively practicing what I preach and working towards my Daddy card. Yes, the Daddy card. Don't you people read my other posts? Pop quiz next week people, get with it.
As I was saying, in my efforts to become Daddy, I have come to certain realizations that have been humorous, jarring, frightening, and insightful all at the same time. Naturally, I thought I would share them with you in my never ending quest to force my opinions on the world. Hey, it's what I do...
1) Seeing your baby for the first time will eclipse all other life-changing events you have experienced in your entire existence; no, there are no comparisons.
2) Circumcisions on newborns hurt Daddy more than Baby.
3) "Didn't I just change his diaper 5 minutes ago?"
3) Marketing companies will NEVER create a baby gift better than an extra pair of hands in the house when the baby is home for the first time.
4) Any parent who says they can completely tune out their baby's cry is full of crap.
5) Don't pick up your baby by one leg when you are trying to get him untangled from his bath towel, especially after Mommy has had a C-Section. She will laugh hard enough to shake the stitches loose.
6) Babies will wait until you've changed the worst poop diaper you've ever seen, then let you know they weren't QUITE finished yet. Speaking of which... I'll be right back...
7) My son is the cutest baby I've ever seen. And every Daddy will say the same thing about their baby.
8) Trying to out-think your baby, even at a week old, is like contemplating strategies for your next day trading option: the consequences could mess up everything for the immediate future, but the long-term investment might still be worth it.
9) Damn, he peed again... hold on...
10) Watching my son is better than TV.
11) The "couple of minutes" they ask you to wait after they wheel Mommy to the operating room for the C-Section before they bring you in are the longest "couple of minutes" you will ever experience.
12) Any concept of the word "beauty" will forever be shattered after you see your spouse carrying your sleeping baby.
13) Further, any concept of "responsibility" you have will be utterly destroyed after spending time with your baby.
14) Your Mom, who has now become Grandma, has somehow accumulated and retained an amount of child-rearing experience that rivals every baby book you have ever seen (SEEN, not read!).
15) ... another one???? How much did this kid eat today???
16) Babies understand behavior patterns. I know this because he changes his as soon as we figure it out.
17) My sleeping son is mesmerizing.
18) One baby picture will turn even the most introverted Daddy into a show-off.
19) "Checking on the baby" when he's sleeping is really self-indulgent for Mommy and Daddy; it has nothing to do with the baby's welfare most of the time.
20) Finally, I have come to realize that the decision to start our family was made at the right time and for the right reasons. Evann has come into our family and fit into our lives like he was always meant to be there. As he grows, he will bring both challenges and happiness to everyone, but for now he has settled comfortably between his Mommy and Daddy, and I've never experienced anything so natural in my entire life.
So, as always, I will see you in the junk drawer soon. But for now, I've got yet another diaper to change... see ya next time!
At any rate, in the short 2 weeks I've officially been a father, I've been actively practicing what I preach and working towards my Daddy card. Yes, the Daddy card. Don't you people read my other posts? Pop quiz next week people, get with it.
As I was saying, in my efforts to become Daddy, I have come to certain realizations that have been humorous, jarring, frightening, and insightful all at the same time. Naturally, I thought I would share them with you in my never ending quest to force my opinions on the world. Hey, it's what I do...
1) Seeing your baby for the first time will eclipse all other life-changing events you have experienced in your entire existence; no, there are no comparisons.
2) Circumcisions on newborns hurt Daddy more than Baby.
3) "Didn't I just change his diaper 5 minutes ago?"
3) Marketing companies will NEVER create a baby gift better than an extra pair of hands in the house when the baby is home for the first time.
4) Any parent who says they can completely tune out their baby's cry is full of crap.
5) Don't pick up your baby by one leg when you are trying to get him untangled from his bath towel, especially after Mommy has had a C-Section. She will laugh hard enough to shake the stitches loose.
6) Babies will wait until you've changed the worst poop diaper you've ever seen, then let you know they weren't QUITE finished yet. Speaking of which... I'll be right back...
7) My son is the cutest baby I've ever seen. And every Daddy will say the same thing about their baby.
8) Trying to out-think your baby, even at a week old, is like contemplating strategies for your next day trading option: the consequences could mess up everything for the immediate future, but the long-term investment might still be worth it.
9) Damn, he peed again... hold on...
10) Watching my son is better than TV.
11) The "couple of minutes" they ask you to wait after they wheel Mommy to the operating room for the C-Section before they bring you in are the longest "couple of minutes" you will ever experience.
12) Any concept of the word "beauty" will forever be shattered after you see your spouse carrying your sleeping baby.
13) Further, any concept of "responsibility" you have will be utterly destroyed after spending time with your baby.
14) Your Mom, who has now become Grandma, has somehow accumulated and retained an amount of child-rearing experience that rivals every baby book you have ever seen (SEEN, not read!).
15) ... another one???? How much did this kid eat today???
16) Babies understand behavior patterns. I know this because he changes his as soon as we figure it out.
17) My sleeping son is mesmerizing.
18) One baby picture will turn even the most introverted Daddy into a show-off.
19) "Checking on the baby" when he's sleeping is really self-indulgent for Mommy and Daddy; it has nothing to do with the baby's welfare most of the time.
20) Finally, I have come to realize that the decision to start our family was made at the right time and for the right reasons. Evann has come into our family and fit into our lives like he was always meant to be there. As he grows, he will bring both challenges and happiness to everyone, but for now he has settled comfortably between his Mommy and Daddy, and I've never experienced anything so natural in my entire life.
So, as always, I will see you in the junk drawer soon. But for now, I've got yet another diaper to change... see ya next time!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
MY SON WAS BORN!!!!!!
Evann was born on September 19th at 5:45pm.... his EXACT due date with no inducing. Absolutely amazing experience for us and Mom and Baby are doing just fine. Short entry for now, more to come... but right now I need to change a diaper. See ya!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Fatherhood & Earning the Daddy Card
As many young (or in my case, not so young) men often discover on the path to becoming a father, I have begun to have many epiphanies as the delivery date of my son gets ever-closer. I've realized that adulthood comes when you least expect it. I've learned that exhaustive preparation still never really makes you prepared to have a baby. I've noticed I see the world differently now that I have a little life under my protection. I've discovered that life never really stops changing, but just ramps up and slows down depending on what new predicament you've gotten yourself into. In the end, I've learned a lot so far and my baby hasn't even been born yet. But there is one theory about fatherhood that I've come to realize that I feel I really must share. Everyone has heard that there is a stark difference between being a father and being Daddy; this is nothing new. However, I have come to realize what the title of "Daddy" and the bond that comes with it can really mean.
For the last 9 months, my wife Sharon has been carrying our child. She has borne all the burden of growing this baby and my role has been relegated to doing everything else around the pregnancy EXCEPT helping with the baby. Granted, actually helping the baby to grow is scientifically impossible for me at this stage seeing as how my son hasn't exited the womb yet, but it still warrants mentioning. This is important, because Sharon has had to do all the work related to our baby while I have to sit and wait for him (not literally, of course... my sisters would have my neck in a noose if I did). It has become my belief that once the baby is born, nature's way of rewarding a mother for their 9-month commitment is to allow the bond between baby and mother to form instantly. Now I will grant you that this only works if the mother WANTS the bond to form, but the opportunity is presented to the mother to become Mommy with very little effort. Some may argue this is merely the end result of breastfeeding or because the baby has been inside the mother for so long, but ultimately it happens for Mommy simply by encouraging the bond to form. In other words, it's nature's way of saying "you've endured the last 9 months of nausea, sleeplessness, hunger, chills, sweats, cramps, contractions, and passing a bowling ball through a keyhole... here's your reward". Enter the father...
For the last 9 months, some fathers have been doing dishes, folding laundry, cooking meals, and cleaning up after their pregnant wife. Others looked after their fantasy football team wondering why their wife has been so moody lately. Regardless of which one the father resembled, once the baby is born it is now "go-time" for both parents as fully active participants. At least, that's what is supposed to happen. Unfortunately, nature has only rewarded Mommy with the parent/baby bond and here is where my theory comes into play: the father's work begins NOW. How many times have you seen a father hand his smelly baby to his wife for a diaper change? Or maybe call out to his wife that "the baby is crying again, can you do something"? Or sleep in the guest room so he could get a good night's sleep because he has to work and the baby keeps getting up all night long? Now, how many times have you seem these same types of fathers wonder why their baby doesn't go to them, can't be comforted by them, or won't react to them the same way they react to Mommy? Do you see a pattern here?
My theory is simple: fatherhood is biological, but it takes real work to earn your "Daddy Card" from your baby. We didn't earn the right for a bond to immediately form with our baby, yet some fathers seem to think that just because they contributed some genetics to this newborn that it affords them an immediate connection to a human being that just met them. There is an enormous irony in this if you look at it from a parenting perspective: almost every parent wants to teach their child that nothing in life is free, yet a father expects to become Daddy without having to work for it. So how does a father earn the title of Daddy? It's simple in concept and immensely difficult in practice. Change diapers. Bathe the baby. Participate in 2AM feedings. Sing a lullaby. Read a story. DO SOMETHING to show this infant that you are in the picture and you are here for the long haul.
Any parent will tell you that an infant is FAR more observant than any book or doctor will tell you. These little guys and girls are watching and retaining everything around them; let's face it, their only job is to eat, sleep and *ahem* "recycle" for a long time... they need something to do between all that! That baby is taking mental notes on who is taking care of them and they are imprinting those faces, voices, and scents as their care providers. Mommy, as we have discussed, is already there. Anyone else better be working for it, and that includes you Daddy! If you don't change a diaper, why should the kid look at you as someone who takes care of them? If you don't participate in bath time, why should the baby see you as a nurturing parent? If you don't help put the little one to sleep, why should they look to you for comfort? Whether you think it's fair or not, Daddy, you need to help out to become a card-carrying member of this club.
Now bear in mind that I am WELL AWARE that we fathers lack the physical equipment to help Mommy feed the baby if they are not bottle fed yet. But this is only one of the many ways we can contribute. When the baby wakes up at 3AM to eat, get up and change their diaper before handing them to Mommy (yes, they WILL need to be changed, trust me). If the baby is fussy, take the initiative and try to comfort them yourself (and no, 5 minutes of carrying them while watching the game DOESN'T COUNT, genius). When it's time for bed, quietly sing to them before putting them down for the night (no one will care what you sound like, least of all the baby). In the end, we are the engineers of our own relationship with our baby, and waiting until the baby "is more aware of us" means we have missed the boat. Think of it this way: when we were in school, maintaining a 3.0 GPA was a HELLUVA LOT EASIER than trying to work BACK UP to a 3.0 GPA after your first semester was spent sleeping in (this is the voice of experience talking here). This is no different.
I will grant anyone out there with kids that this opinion and theory is coming from a man who hasn't had to actually DO any of this yet. But I also think that going into parenthood needs to have some sort of plan, be it from an individual perspective or a collective one between Mommy and Daddy. I realize that whatever plan we have will probably change and re-materialize several times over the course of our baby's infancy alone, but jumping in with both feet without thinking things through is no help either. I think the end result is that I am going into fatherhood with the knowledge that it is going to be a full-time, 24/7, 365 day job and my initial relationship with my son is going to be built almost entirely on what I do before he can consciously acknowledge who I am. I also have reserved myself to the fact that it's not enough to simply accept all this; I have to put forth the effort that justifies that powerful bond between my son and his Daddy. If there was ever a time in my life that "just enough" won't be enough, now is the time.
However, I am encouraged by one singular aspect to all of this: if I do what I need to do to make sure my son and I bond, the payoff will be exponential. I will have earned the trust that only a parent earns from their child, and all the love and affection that goes with it. In the end, that "Daddy Card" will come with a lifetime membership as long as I continue to pay the dues, and any Daddy will tell you that's a small price to pay.
For the last 9 months, my wife Sharon has been carrying our child. She has borne all the burden of growing this baby and my role has been relegated to doing everything else around the pregnancy EXCEPT helping with the baby. Granted, actually helping the baby to grow is scientifically impossible for me at this stage seeing as how my son hasn't exited the womb yet, but it still warrants mentioning. This is important, because Sharon has had to do all the work related to our baby while I have to sit and wait for him (not literally, of course... my sisters would have my neck in a noose if I did). It has become my belief that once the baby is born, nature's way of rewarding a mother for their 9-month commitment is to allow the bond between baby and mother to form instantly. Now I will grant you that this only works if the mother WANTS the bond to form, but the opportunity is presented to the mother to become Mommy with very little effort. Some may argue this is merely the end result of breastfeeding or because the baby has been inside the mother for so long, but ultimately it happens for Mommy simply by encouraging the bond to form. In other words, it's nature's way of saying "you've endured the last 9 months of nausea, sleeplessness, hunger, chills, sweats, cramps, contractions, and passing a bowling ball through a keyhole... here's your reward". Enter the father...
For the last 9 months, some fathers have been doing dishes, folding laundry, cooking meals, and cleaning up after their pregnant wife. Others looked after their fantasy football team wondering why their wife has been so moody lately. Regardless of which one the father resembled, once the baby is born it is now "go-time" for both parents as fully active participants. At least, that's what is supposed to happen. Unfortunately, nature has only rewarded Mommy with the parent/baby bond and here is where my theory comes into play: the father's work begins NOW. How many times have you seen a father hand his smelly baby to his wife for a diaper change? Or maybe call out to his wife that "the baby is crying again, can you do something"? Or sleep in the guest room so he could get a good night's sleep because he has to work and the baby keeps getting up all night long? Now, how many times have you seem these same types of fathers wonder why their baby doesn't go to them, can't be comforted by them, or won't react to them the same way they react to Mommy? Do you see a pattern here?
My theory is simple: fatherhood is biological, but it takes real work to earn your "Daddy Card" from your baby. We didn't earn the right for a bond to immediately form with our baby, yet some fathers seem to think that just because they contributed some genetics to this newborn that it affords them an immediate connection to a human being that just met them. There is an enormous irony in this if you look at it from a parenting perspective: almost every parent wants to teach their child that nothing in life is free, yet a father expects to become Daddy without having to work for it. So how does a father earn the title of Daddy? It's simple in concept and immensely difficult in practice. Change diapers. Bathe the baby. Participate in 2AM feedings. Sing a lullaby. Read a story. DO SOMETHING to show this infant that you are in the picture and you are here for the long haul.
Any parent will tell you that an infant is FAR more observant than any book or doctor will tell you. These little guys and girls are watching and retaining everything around them; let's face it, their only job is to eat, sleep and *ahem* "recycle" for a long time... they need something to do between all that! That baby is taking mental notes on who is taking care of them and they are imprinting those faces, voices, and scents as their care providers. Mommy, as we have discussed, is already there. Anyone else better be working for it, and that includes you Daddy! If you don't change a diaper, why should the kid look at you as someone who takes care of them? If you don't participate in bath time, why should the baby see you as a nurturing parent? If you don't help put the little one to sleep, why should they look to you for comfort? Whether you think it's fair or not, Daddy, you need to help out to become a card-carrying member of this club.
Now bear in mind that I am WELL AWARE that we fathers lack the physical equipment to help Mommy feed the baby if they are not bottle fed yet. But this is only one of the many ways we can contribute. When the baby wakes up at 3AM to eat, get up and change their diaper before handing them to Mommy (yes, they WILL need to be changed, trust me). If the baby is fussy, take the initiative and try to comfort them yourself (and no, 5 minutes of carrying them while watching the game DOESN'T COUNT, genius). When it's time for bed, quietly sing to them before putting them down for the night (no one will care what you sound like, least of all the baby). In the end, we are the engineers of our own relationship with our baby, and waiting until the baby "is more aware of us" means we have missed the boat. Think of it this way: when we were in school, maintaining a 3.0 GPA was a HELLUVA LOT EASIER than trying to work BACK UP to a 3.0 GPA after your first semester was spent sleeping in (this is the voice of experience talking here). This is no different.
I will grant anyone out there with kids that this opinion and theory is coming from a man who hasn't had to actually DO any of this yet. But I also think that going into parenthood needs to have some sort of plan, be it from an individual perspective or a collective one between Mommy and Daddy. I realize that whatever plan we have will probably change and re-materialize several times over the course of our baby's infancy alone, but jumping in with both feet without thinking things through is no help either. I think the end result is that I am going into fatherhood with the knowledge that it is going to be a full-time, 24/7, 365 day job and my initial relationship with my son is going to be built almost entirely on what I do before he can consciously acknowledge who I am. I also have reserved myself to the fact that it's not enough to simply accept all this; I have to put forth the effort that justifies that powerful bond between my son and his Daddy. If there was ever a time in my life that "just enough" won't be enough, now is the time.
However, I am encouraged by one singular aspect to all of this: if I do what I need to do to make sure my son and I bond, the payoff will be exponential. I will have earned the trust that only a parent earns from their child, and all the love and affection that goes with it. In the end, that "Daddy Card" will come with a lifetime membership as long as I continue to pay the dues, and any Daddy will tell you that's a small price to pay.
Friday, August 6, 2010
I'm sure I'm not the only person who has noticed, but lately it seems as though we've been inundated with revised, re-hashed, re-done, re-gurgitated ideas for movies that are taking old TV shows and movies and giving them a CGI re-face before tossing them into the theaters. Let me be the first to say that I see this as nothing more than the creative teams in Hollywood reaching back to 1980's well-loved themes and characters, polishing them up, and releasing them to an uneducated youth of today who have no concept of how great the originals were. In short, they are taking classics and re-vamping them in ways that were unheard of back in the day. To this, I have only one thing to say:
THIS IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!
Look, I'm all about preserving the integrity of the past, but let's face it.... anyone who grew up in the 80's like I did knows that there's very little integrity to preserve in the shows and movies that came out during that decade. For those of you that doubt me on this... ALF came out that decade. Nuff said.
It may seem weird to hear this from someone who loves the creative process, but I'm absolutely enjoying the influx of 70's and 80's ideas being re-made into modern movies. Just in case anyone out there is not clear on how many of these new movies are NOT new ideas:
Charlies Angels, The A-Team, Inspector Gadget, Underdog, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Clash of the Titans, Flashdance, Longest Yard, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo, Garfield, War of the Worlds, Alice in Wonderland, Alvin & the Chipmunks, Lord of the Rings, Night of the Living Dead, Italian Job, Dragnet, Karate Kid, Marmaduke... I could go on, but you get the idea.
Now, this is just tv shows and movies we're talking about here. I haven't even touched on the comic books and video games that have been adapted for movies, which is whole other reason for sci-fi super geeks like me to get excited. Some people may see this as a sobering reminder that all the good ideas for movies are taken, and I'd be inclinded to agree with them. If I'm being honest as a creative thinker, it's a little sad to think that we can't come up with any new material. It's troubling that writers now have to reach back to ideas that have already proven themselves as a safe alternative to pushing the creative margin. Granted, re-doing tried and true favorites of past generations has it's own pitfalls. It's easy draw the ire of those who think that appropriate respect wasn't given to characters and stories that they defined their childhood on. But by definition, there's no real creative genius behind bringing old stories into the new century.
Despite this, I say: who F'N cares? Yes, there's not as much creativity in the process but this isn't about being creative from the ground up. This is about taking some of the best memories we have of old imagery and characters and making them known to a new generations. True, sometimes these fall flat (Underdog didn't quite hit the mark), but in many cases it causes us to instantly revert back to when we still knew what summer vacation was (TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!).
Here's the bottom line in my opinion. A lot of the flack that these movies are getting are mainly because people start thinking too much and stop remembering how these shows made us feel. Let's face it: the animation was crap, the stories were predicable, the writing was elementary, and the production was quick and dirty. Even so, think about how those shows made us FEEL. Despite all the lousy animation, we still waited to see Lion-O draw the Sword of Omens the next afternoon. Even though the stories were predicable, we still tuned in to see if Hannibal's plan came together. Although the writing sucked, we still wanted to know more since knowing was half the battle. It was never about the quality of the show (God knows, it had nothing to do with that), it was about the entertainment it provided and how they allowed us to lose ourselves temporarily in a world that was cooler and more exciting than our own. Now that we have them appearing in modern movies, we get the one thing that was missing: the quality of the production. Some would argue that putting the word "quality" with the concept of the 80's TV show is like mixing oil and water. That may have some truth behind it, but ultimately we must ask ourselves if this criticism means anything in the overall scope of why we watch movies in the first place. Put simply, are we entertained? For myself, HELL YES!
So I close with the notion that those of us from the 80's are resting comfortably in the knowledge that we have many a childhood rememberance already on the big screen and many, many more to come. No doubt, the critics and critiques will continue to hammer them relentlessly, but as they have endured in our hearts over the last few decades, they will endure on the silver screen as well. Besides, TRON is coming soon... so you critics can kiss the backside of my light-cycle if you don't like it!
THIS IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!
Look, I'm all about preserving the integrity of the past, but let's face it.... anyone who grew up in the 80's like I did knows that there's very little integrity to preserve in the shows and movies that came out during that decade. For those of you that doubt me on this... ALF came out that decade. Nuff said.
It may seem weird to hear this from someone who loves the creative process, but I'm absolutely enjoying the influx of 70's and 80's ideas being re-made into modern movies. Just in case anyone out there is not clear on how many of these new movies are NOT new ideas:
Charlies Angels, The A-Team, Inspector Gadget, Underdog, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Clash of the Titans, Flashdance, Longest Yard, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo, Garfield, War of the Worlds, Alice in Wonderland, Alvin & the Chipmunks, Lord of the Rings, Night of the Living Dead, Italian Job, Dragnet, Karate Kid, Marmaduke... I could go on, but you get the idea.
Now, this is just tv shows and movies we're talking about here. I haven't even touched on the comic books and video games that have been adapted for movies, which is whole other reason for sci-fi super geeks like me to get excited. Some people may see this as a sobering reminder that all the good ideas for movies are taken, and I'd be inclinded to agree with them. If I'm being honest as a creative thinker, it's a little sad to think that we can't come up with any new material. It's troubling that writers now have to reach back to ideas that have already proven themselves as a safe alternative to pushing the creative margin. Granted, re-doing tried and true favorites of past generations has it's own pitfalls. It's easy draw the ire of those who think that appropriate respect wasn't given to characters and stories that they defined their childhood on. But by definition, there's no real creative genius behind bringing old stories into the new century.
Despite this, I say: who F'N cares? Yes, there's not as much creativity in the process but this isn't about being creative from the ground up. This is about taking some of the best memories we have of old imagery and characters and making them known to a new generations. True, sometimes these fall flat (Underdog didn't quite hit the mark), but in many cases it causes us to instantly revert back to when we still knew what summer vacation was (TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!).
Here's the bottom line in my opinion. A lot of the flack that these movies are getting are mainly because people start thinking too much and stop remembering how these shows made us feel. Let's face it: the animation was crap, the stories were predicable, the writing was elementary, and the production was quick and dirty. Even so, think about how those shows made us FEEL. Despite all the lousy animation, we still waited to see Lion-O draw the Sword of Omens the next afternoon. Even though the stories were predicable, we still tuned in to see if Hannibal's plan came together. Although the writing sucked, we still wanted to know more since knowing was half the battle. It was never about the quality of the show (God knows, it had nothing to do with that), it was about the entertainment it provided and how they allowed us to lose ourselves temporarily in a world that was cooler and more exciting than our own. Now that we have them appearing in modern movies, we get the one thing that was missing: the quality of the production. Some would argue that putting the word "quality" with the concept of the 80's TV show is like mixing oil and water. That may have some truth behind it, but ultimately we must ask ourselves if this criticism means anything in the overall scope of why we watch movies in the first place. Put simply, are we entertained? For myself, HELL YES!
So I close with the notion that those of us from the 80's are resting comfortably in the knowledge that we have many a childhood rememberance already on the big screen and many, many more to come. No doubt, the critics and critiques will continue to hammer them relentlessly, but as they have endured in our hearts over the last few decades, they will endure on the silver screen as well. Besides, TRON is coming soon... so you critics can kiss the backside of my light-cycle if you don't like it!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Empty Promises, Flimsy Excuses
Outta the way, people... I'm dusting off the soapbox and I'm not here to wash the floors!
A couple of weeks ago, I found out that possibly my closest friend I’ve ever had, who I’ve been friends with since I was 8, found a note in her husband’s pocket stating that he was unhappy with the marriage and wanted to leave. After confronting him, he admitted it was true and, just as the note says, he left and they have been separated ever since. That was a little over a month or two ago. Stand back, because the soapbox in going down and I’ve got a fistful of note cards to get through, so take a seat and get comfortable.
Ok, I’ll admit he’s not the first person to fall into this situation. I realize that this is not a unique situation and that this happens to a lot of couples. That in itself is the biggest problem. Who on this earth decided it was ok to walk away from a marriage because they were “unhappy”? Am I the only one who thinks this is the most royally insane excuse to ever cross a human’s lips short of the Twinkie defense?
Let’s clarify the details here: there was no physical abuse to speak of, no emotional abuse that I am aware of, and both husband and wife are of relatively sound mind and body. Given the circumstances, I use the latter description of the husband VERY loosely. I’m not standing on principle because he left her. I’m standing on principle because he left her and their TWO-YEAR OLD SON. I’m standing on principle because the guy hasn’t had a decent paying job since before they were married. I’m standing on principle because she is the sole breadwinner in the family and he’s the one unhappy. I’m standing on principle because he wants to settle out of court and have equal custody of their son. I’m standing on principle because this is the biggest JOKE I’ve ever heard from a so-called male in my 36 years of being alive.
Let me break it down this way… even if you’re not happy in your marriage, there are ways to get help. Counseling, family, psychiatrists, shock-therapy… pick one! But even if you’re not interested, has it ever occurred to you that one day your own son is going to look to you as an example of a responsible man? Every son does it, accept it. One day, that little boy is going to ask the question: why did my daddy leave? But under the circumstances, I can definitely see that he won’t get an answer from the source. You see, he’s simply taking the coward’s way out, so there’s nothing that makes me believe he’ll be around to confront that question when it happens. It doesn’t take a brave man to walk away when things get hard. Believe me, I know. I’ve seen the bank account go to pennies, the car payments back up, the rent check bounce… I’ve been there both single and married. I’m now sitting here out of that mess because I CHOSE to roll up my sleeves and change things. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life… and I’m on the other side because I fought through it instead of tucking tail and running.
It’s really simple. They didn’t get married because they got pregnant. They didn’t have the kid because she was the only one who wanted him. They had plenty of time before their son got here to decide what they were going to do with their COLLECTIVE lives. So you see, nobody forced the ring on his finger. His hand wasn’t influenced by anything fate dealt them. He wasn’t the victim here who needed to walk away because he just couldn’t take it anymore. The truth is he has a wife who supported him and his get-rich-quick schemes that invested HER money, a son who means nothing to him since he can just walk away from both of them, and has embraced the mentality of a teenager who couldn’t spell “responsibility” if his penis was stretched out on the chopping block in front of a blind butcher. Bottom line: he’s a coward who walked away from a marriage because he didn’t like playing house anymore. The best part of this whole situation is that he has the audacity to ask her to settle through mediation. Gee, I wonder F’N why???? No job, no money, and pictures on his Facebook page of him hanging out with 20-something’s boozed up in some nightclub. Yeah, you’ve got the wool pulled over our eyes, sparky…
Look, it may not be any of my business when things are all said and done. Yes, it’s my friend of over 25 years so I do take this a little personally. But the reason I’m on the soapbox again is not because it happened to someone I care about. It’s because it’s happening at all. How can any man, a real man, take the vows of marriage and have a family, and then decide that it’s not for him like he’s quitting the pickup game at the YMCA? I understand that some men are abused; it’s not isolated to the women. But I KNOW for a fact that he had a good thing going and is walking away from it because he’s not “happy”. I’ve been a married man for almost 6 years. I can tell you now that the only reason a man walks away from marriage that easily is because he has CONVINCED himself that he’s unhappy, nothing more. Chasing tail and living without consequences has its place… and that place is in your 20’s. Sorry, bud, but you’re missing the mark by about a decade. It doesn’t take a man to walk away from his responsibilities. It takes a man to accept them and deal with them. And no, whining about them doesn’t factor into it, jackass.
Maybe I don’t have the inside info on everything and I may be wrong on a lot of this. I don’t have a baby to take care of (yet) but I am a husband, and I can tell you that throwing it all away because your definition of “happy” is missing the right to act like a horny teenager is nothing short of pathetic. Grow a pair, take your medicine, man-up, and act like a husband and father while your son is still making up his mind about you. Naturally, if ever he were to read this I would expect all of this to fall on deaf ears (or blind eyes, as the case may be). But as we all know, karma is a bitch with teeth and to his ignorance, I offer this parting shot.
One day your son is going to ask you to meet in a restaurant somewhere and, regardless of your relationship with him or how he feels about you, he is going to sit down, take a deep breath, and ask you, “why did you leave Mom and me?” When the flimsy excuses and unfulfilled promises start to flow, your own son will begin realize how empty you and your words really are. Everything you have reaped will begin to reveal itself like so much compost, your son will walk away wondering why he ever cared why you left in the first place, and you will understand finally what it feels like to embrace your true nature: complete and utter uselessness.
And, Uncle Ronn will be there to drive him home… count on it.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Hibernation and Early Risers
Everybody does it at some point in their life. Sleeping stops becoming a necessity and starts becoming an addiction. I remember sliding into bed during hours that no longer qualify as "night" and getting up after most people had eaten two regular meals. It was a welcome knowledge to know that I didn't have anything to do during the day and I could stay in bed for as long as I wanted, and I was a rank-pro at pushing this as far as possible. Let's face it, when your parents are doing wellness checks on you on afternoon weekends, you have a problem.
But that was then. In recent months, my habits have been starting to spontaneously change and I'm beginning to discover a new phenomenon: it's called Sunday morning. For some reason, I have begun to lose the desire to sleep through the AM hours and actually have been getting up earlier and earlier. I can't explain it really, but I'm convinced that it's connected to that terrible occurrence that eventually consumes all of us: age. I used to wonder why my Grandfather would fall asleep before 10:00pm and be up and around at 4:00am every day. As a side note, the reason I know this is because I was usually going to bed when he was getting up. That used to make no sense to me since I loved to sleep so much and I couldn't wrap my head around why a retired man with no real responsibilities anymore didn't take advantage of the amount of free time he had earned. True, I was 19 at the time and didn't really understand the concept of responsibility to begin with, but it still made no sense to me how anyone could wake up at 4:00 in the morning.
Part of me thinks that it has something to do with the fact that I'm older and just don't really need that much sleep anymore. But the harsh reality is probably the onset of that dreaded occurrence that many try to avoid and deny when they can't: maturity. I have started to realize that I don't want to sleep the day away any more because there are things that I want to do. Granted, I'm not talking about getting up at 5:00am because I want to re-spackle the bathroom. Most times I'm up watching some TV, on the computer, or playing video games. But the fact remains that I'm awake during hours that I hadn't seen in my twenties. The irony here is that I've essentially changed the hours but not the habits. I'm basically doing exactly what I was doing in the wee hours of the night, but now I'm doing it in the morning instead.
So what's the point? As time has passed, it's amazing how priorities and perspectives can change without any reason or motivation. I didn't understand why anyone would want to pass up a morning sleeping in, and now I can't fathom losing all those morning hours to excessive sleep. I used to question the sanity of someone who got out of bed before lunch, and now I think the nuts are the ones still in bed after 10:00am. There's no real rhyme or reason to why this happens, but I do know that my priorities have changed so why not my sleeping habits. I will say, though, that if I take nothing else away from this change I have made one big revelation: Sunday morning TV is a helluva lot better than I thought.
But that was then. In recent months, my habits have been starting to spontaneously change and I'm beginning to discover a new phenomenon: it's called Sunday morning. For some reason, I have begun to lose the desire to sleep through the AM hours and actually have been getting up earlier and earlier. I can't explain it really, but I'm convinced that it's connected to that terrible occurrence that eventually consumes all of us: age. I used to wonder why my Grandfather would fall asleep before 10:00pm and be up and around at 4:00am every day. As a side note, the reason I know this is because I was usually going to bed when he was getting up. That used to make no sense to me since I loved to sleep so much and I couldn't wrap my head around why a retired man with no real responsibilities anymore didn't take advantage of the amount of free time he had earned. True, I was 19 at the time and didn't really understand the concept of responsibility to begin with, but it still made no sense to me how anyone could wake up at 4:00 in the morning.
Part of me thinks that it has something to do with the fact that I'm older and just don't really need that much sleep anymore. But the harsh reality is probably the onset of that dreaded occurrence that many try to avoid and deny when they can't: maturity. I have started to realize that I don't want to sleep the day away any more because there are things that I want to do. Granted, I'm not talking about getting up at 5:00am because I want to re-spackle the bathroom. Most times I'm up watching some TV, on the computer, or playing video games. But the fact remains that I'm awake during hours that I hadn't seen in my twenties. The irony here is that I've essentially changed the hours but not the habits. I'm basically doing exactly what I was doing in the wee hours of the night, but now I'm doing it in the morning instead.
So what's the point? As time has passed, it's amazing how priorities and perspectives can change without any reason or motivation. I didn't understand why anyone would want to pass up a morning sleeping in, and now I can't fathom losing all those morning hours to excessive sleep. I used to question the sanity of someone who got out of bed before lunch, and now I think the nuts are the ones still in bed after 10:00am. There's no real rhyme or reason to why this happens, but I do know that my priorities have changed so why not my sleeping habits. I will say, though, that if I take nothing else away from this change I have made one big revelation: Sunday morning TV is a helluva lot better than I thought.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Empty promises and TMI
Ok, so I lied...
With the best of intentions I intended on being more diligent about posting to my blog and, as you can see, that was a pipe dream at best. Still, inspiration can come from the most unlikely of places and in this case it comes from me READING a blog post. Truthfully, while I'm grateful for the writing muse to return, the subject of my motiviation to post was somewhat... disturbing.
I work with some colorful characters: let's just get that out in the open before I go any further. Needless to say, when a co-worker told me she kept a blog I was intrigued. As sharp as her wits are and as quick as her verbal jabs can be, I figured it would be a great read between calls and orders. I can't honestly say I was 100% correct, but if the the hallmark of good writing is an unforgettable experience, then baby this one was a SUPERB example of superior writing.
As I was sworn to keep my big mouth shut about the content of her blog, I will leave out the *ahem*... unnecessary details. Suffice it to say it was a detailed account of a wife and mother's afternoon with a sun beam and minimal coverage. And no, we're not talking about sunscreen here. Now, I'm a red-blooded mail who likes to take the occasional dip in the gutter every now and then. But, when you work with a person you respect who, for all intents and purposes, seems pretty laid back, reading an account like this can be a bit jarring.
Screw that, it was like getting smacked in the head with a pair of nunchuks during REM sleep...
Frankly, I'm all about the freedom of speech in writing and I fully endorse her ability (and guts) to write so honestly. In her defense, she's not exactly the Susie Homemaker type either so I guess I should have expected more than just what last week's barbecue was like. Knowing what I know about her from our working relationship, I did expect an edge to the blog and I was prepared for it. Still, that was a lot to hit a guy with mid-afternoon on a Friday.
So what's the point? First and foremost, this is mostly in response to her blogged apology for "burning my eyes out" with her post, which I do appreciate. But as all writers should do, I also needed to reflect on the experience. It wasn't so much the fact that I was reading a detailed description of a birthday-suit sunbathing of someone that I spend most of my working day with... I'll be replaying that account in my head whether I want to or not for the next week or so anyway. It has more to do with the fact that it occurred to me that inspiration for writing can come from the most unlikely of places. If she didn't feel compelled to post that experience, I would not be sitting here writing this after neglecting my blog for the better part of 6 months. Writers write, and in the absence of inspiration from personal experience, sometimes it does take an exterior influence to jar us into putting words down; No matter how random (or disturbing) the incident may be.
So, I extend my thanks to my co-worker (who shall still remain nameless under penalty of finding my cubicle varnished) for the kick-start back into my blog. Despite the oddity of the whole thing, it was nice to get the juice to write again and hopefully this time it will continue.
(... I can't wait to see her next blog about that barbecue, though. Can you imagine...?)
With the best of intentions I intended on being more diligent about posting to my blog and, as you can see, that was a pipe dream at best. Still, inspiration can come from the most unlikely of places and in this case it comes from me READING a blog post. Truthfully, while I'm grateful for the writing muse to return, the subject of my motiviation to post was somewhat... disturbing.
I work with some colorful characters: let's just get that out in the open before I go any further. Needless to say, when a co-worker told me she kept a blog I was intrigued. As sharp as her wits are and as quick as her verbal jabs can be, I figured it would be a great read between calls and orders. I can't honestly say I was 100% correct, but if the the hallmark of good writing is an unforgettable experience, then baby this one was a SUPERB example of superior writing.
As I was sworn to keep my big mouth shut about the content of her blog, I will leave out the *ahem*... unnecessary details. Suffice it to say it was a detailed account of a wife and mother's afternoon with a sun beam and minimal coverage. And no, we're not talking about sunscreen here. Now, I'm a red-blooded mail who likes to take the occasional dip in the gutter every now and then. But, when you work with a person you respect who, for all intents and purposes, seems pretty laid back, reading an account like this can be a bit jarring.
Screw that, it was like getting smacked in the head with a pair of nunchuks during REM sleep...
Frankly, I'm all about the freedom of speech in writing and I fully endorse her ability (and guts) to write so honestly. In her defense, she's not exactly the Susie Homemaker type either so I guess I should have expected more than just what last week's barbecue was like. Knowing what I know about her from our working relationship, I did expect an edge to the blog and I was prepared for it. Still, that was a lot to hit a guy with mid-afternoon on a Friday.
So what's the point? First and foremost, this is mostly in response to her blogged apology for "burning my eyes out" with her post, which I do appreciate. But as all writers should do, I also needed to reflect on the experience. It wasn't so much the fact that I was reading a detailed description of a birthday-suit sunbathing of someone that I spend most of my working day with... I'll be replaying that account in my head whether I want to or not for the next week or so anyway. It has more to do with the fact that it occurred to me that inspiration for writing can come from the most unlikely of places. If she didn't feel compelled to post that experience, I would not be sitting here writing this after neglecting my blog for the better part of 6 months. Writers write, and in the absence of inspiration from personal experience, sometimes it does take an exterior influence to jar us into putting words down; No matter how random (or disturbing) the incident may be.
So, I extend my thanks to my co-worker (who shall still remain nameless under penalty of finding my cubicle varnished) for the kick-start back into my blog. Despite the oddity of the whole thing, it was nice to get the juice to write again and hopefully this time it will continue.
(... I can't wait to see her next blog about that barbecue, though. Can you imagine...?)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Back again... and a year older!
... yes fans, I know... it's been a while. I suppose even the best intentions of a writer trying to exercise his creative muscle can sometimes result in his creativity lying around like a couch potato. Nevertheless I am back again and hopefully writing with more consistency this time. No, it's not a New Year's resolution or I'd never follow through with it...
So, I enter my newest blog entry with a solemn and deadly serious philosophical realization that time can be a brief footnote in the chapter we call life. We can choose to see it as a shooting star blazing across the night sky, or as a dying ember that barely illuminates the cold ground it sits on. Yes, my friends... I've had another birthday.
Ok, so things aren't so retrospective when you reach the big "3-6", but any birthday will get you thinking once you've reached the age where you stop asking for parties and start asking for discounts at the restaurant. I can honestly say that I've come to a few stark conclusions on this birthday, though. First, I've come to the realization that I am no longer concerned with how much more I have to grow, but have simply accepted that my growth will continue as long as I pursue it. Second, I have finally recognized that I am at the age where no one refers to me as "young man" anymore, but no one has called me "sir" yet either. This is a very comfortable place to be. Finally, in a few years, I'll be 40. 'Nuff said.
I think the impact all three of these realizations has made on me as a collective force is this: I am more self-aware of who I am and what I do on a daily basis than I ever have been before. This alone is both comforting and scary at the same time. An impact like this creates a kind of confidence I haven't felt in a long time; maybe ever. What makes this confidence so great is not the quantity I feel, but the quality of confidence I have. The scary part? It makes feel like a grown-up. Never thought I'd feel this way, and it feels a little strange. But ultimately, isn't that what we all hope for in our lives? We reach for a milestone thinking that it's the final goal, only to look back and realize that the real prize isn't the destination we've reached, but the path we took to get there.
So, I enter 2010 and another year of my life with a stability of mind, body, and heart that I don't recall ever having before. Does it stop here? Definitely not. Will it continue? Most definitely. But even with all these realizations, the fact remains that I will always be a kid at heart no matter how much I grow up. So throw in some sci-fi movies, Looney Tunes, and some late night video games... it's going to be a great year!
So, I enter my newest blog entry with a solemn and deadly serious philosophical realization that time can be a brief footnote in the chapter we call life. We can choose to see it as a shooting star blazing across the night sky, or as a dying ember that barely illuminates the cold ground it sits on. Yes, my friends... I've had another birthday.
Ok, so things aren't so retrospective when you reach the big "3-6", but any birthday will get you thinking once you've reached the age where you stop asking for parties and start asking for discounts at the restaurant. I can honestly say that I've come to a few stark conclusions on this birthday, though. First, I've come to the realization that I am no longer concerned with how much more I have to grow, but have simply accepted that my growth will continue as long as I pursue it. Second, I have finally recognized that I am at the age where no one refers to me as "young man" anymore, but no one has called me "sir" yet either. This is a very comfortable place to be. Finally, in a few years, I'll be 40. 'Nuff said.
I think the impact all three of these realizations has made on me as a collective force is this: I am more self-aware of who I am and what I do on a daily basis than I ever have been before. This alone is both comforting and scary at the same time. An impact like this creates a kind of confidence I haven't felt in a long time; maybe ever. What makes this confidence so great is not the quantity I feel, but the quality of confidence I have. The scary part? It makes feel like a grown-up. Never thought I'd feel this way, and it feels a little strange. But ultimately, isn't that what we all hope for in our lives? We reach for a milestone thinking that it's the final goal, only to look back and realize that the real prize isn't the destination we've reached, but the path we took to get there.
So, I enter 2010 and another year of my life with a stability of mind, body, and heart that I don't recall ever having before. Does it stop here? Definitely not. Will it continue? Most definitely. But even with all these realizations, the fact remains that I will always be a kid at heart no matter how much I grow up. So throw in some sci-fi movies, Looney Tunes, and some late night video games... it's going to be a great year!
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