Back again... and a year older!

... yes fans, I know... it's been a while. I suppose even the best intentions of a writer trying to exercise his creative muscle can sometimes result in his creativity lying around like a couch potato. Nevertheless I am back again and hopefully writing with more consistency this time. No, it's not a New Year's resolution or I'd never follow through with it...

So, I enter my newest blog entry with a solemn and deadly serious philosophical realization that time can be a brief footnote in the chapter we call life. We can choose to see it as a shooting star blazing across the night sky, or as a dying ember that barely illuminates the cold ground it sits on. Yes, my friends... I've had another birthday.

Ok, so things aren't so retrospective when you reach the big "3-6", but any birthday will get you thinking once you've reached the age where you stop asking for parties and start asking for discounts at the restaurant. I can honestly say that I've come to a few stark conclusions on this birthday, though. First, I've come to the realization that I am no longer concerned with how much more I have to grow, but have simply accepted that my growth will continue as long as I pursue it. Second, I have finally recognized that I am at the age where no one refers to me as "young man" anymore, but no one has called me "sir" yet either. This is a very comfortable place to be. Finally, in a few years, I'll be 40. 'Nuff said.

I think the impact all three of these realizations has made on me as a collective force is this: I am more self-aware of who I am and what I do on a daily basis than I ever have been before. This alone is both comforting and scary at the same time. An impact like this creates a kind of confidence I haven't felt in a long time; maybe ever. What makes this confidence so great is not the quantity I feel, but the quality of confidence I have. The scary part? It makes feel like a grown-up. Never thought I'd feel this way, and it feels a little strange. But ultimately, isn't that what we all hope for in our lives? We reach for a milestone thinking that it's the final goal, only to look back and realize that the real prize isn't the destination we've reached, but the path we took to get there.

So, I enter 2010 and another year of my life with a stability of mind, body, and heart that I don't recall ever having before. Does it stop here? Definitely not. Will it continue? Most definitely. But even with all these realizations, the fact remains that I will always be a kid at heart no matter how much I grow up. So throw in some sci-fi movies, Looney Tunes, and some late night video games... it's going to be a great year!