Anybody who says "time flies when you're having fun" has no idea what they're talking about unless they have kids!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now the proud papa of a one-year old!
I thought I knew what it meant to have time rush past you. When I realized my son was turning one this month, it suddenly felt like time rolled over my ass, backed up to make sure it hit me, then rolled on over again. Where the hell did this year go? It feels like a few weeks ago I could put him down on his blanket and he'd still be there 10 minutes later. Now, I put him on his blanket and both he and the blanket are halfway down the hall before I can blow my nose.
I think the main reason I feel like this year blew by so fast is because all of the memories I have from the past year are SO vivid in my mind that they still feel new. In the past, my memories of events fade into... well, just memories. What it comes down to is that these new memories of starting our family are of such significance that they held their shine longer, and consequently are still very dominant in my mind. Because of that, when I think back to them they seem like they just happened, and now I'm looking at a toddler instead of my infant son.
... and it's a grand sight, let me tell you.
So, things have been all about Evann for the last few weeks and rightfully so. However, I feel the need to take a moment for myself and reflect a bit internally. I can only comment on my own experience, but I am still in awe of how significant everything seems now in my life. I have more purpose, more motivation, more desire than I ever have, and it's all thanks to my son. My head feels like it's in the right place for the first time in my life, and while I am constantly watching out for my family's future, I am doing everything in my power to live in the moment and not miss experiencing my boy's childhood. It's an odd thing: I spent so much of my youth dodging responsibility, and here I am reveling in it. Leave it to a life event like having a baby to toss your priority list into the blender.
In hindsight, I wouldn't have changed a thing in the past year. Every experience, good, bad, and "WTF-horrible", have all been beneficial in some way, shape or form. My marriage has never been stronger, my family has never been more bonded, and I've been as happy as I can remember. I've learned more about myself in learning about my son than I thought was possible, and I can only sum up my feelings in one word: thankful. I thank my wife, I thank my son, and I thank my family and friends for everything that has led up to this moment as I sit here and write.
So, here's to the shortest year of my life (so far). That's one down, dozens to go... and I say, bring it on. Happy Birthday, Son!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Hostility Check!
So, admittedly I am stealing this one from one of my blogging cohorts. Yes, I'm short on ideas for my blog... I've got a kid approaching his first birthday and an upcoming apartment move, sue me.
Anyway, my ambitious colleague is going back to school and has begun taking psychology classes. In my personal opinion this is the equivalent of placing a hair-trigger uzi in the hands of a hormone-laden teenager hopped up on Red Bull. Still, it has produced some interesting insights from her and this blog is no exception.
She posted a list of questions which apparently gauge your hostility levels. Naturally, I don't really feel the need to measure my hostility levels since I typically exhibit SUCH an even temper (if you're not picking up on the sarcasm here, see my Road Rage blog). Since she has again put it out there for all to see (literary, people... not literally), I figured I'd do the same. According to her blog, more than 5 "yes" answers indicates serious levels of hostility. This should be good:
1. I often get annoyed at checkout cashiers or the people in front of me when I’m waiting in line.
Cashiers not so much, people in front of me yes. Look, I know it's a tough concept but you're in line to PAY FOR SOMETHING. Get out the wallet, start writing the check, open your purse, check back into reality... do SOMETHING to move things along. This is not a hard concept, people.
2. I usually keep an eye on the people I work with or live with to make sure they do what they should.
This only applies to work: I've stopped keeping an eye on other people BECAUSE it made me hostile. Not saying they don't need supervising, I'm just saying I don't do it myself anymore.
4. I believe that most people will take advantage of you if you let them.
Here's how I see it: give people enough rope to hang themselves with and they'll either throw it to you to when you need it or drop through the trapdoor and eliminate themselves. Put your trust people to begin with and IF they violate it, throw the book at them
5. The habits of friends or family members often annoy me.
Not really. Most people that annoy me aren't classified as either friends, and family gets the benefit of the doubt most of the time.
6. When I’m stuck in traffic, I often start breathing faster and my heart pounds.
Hell YES! Get the F out of my way! (sorry, Road Rage... remember?)
7. When I’m annoyed with people, I really want to let them know it.
Again, HELL YES! Do I actually do it? No... mostly because I prefer letting them let the world know on their own.
8. If someone does me wrong I want to get even.
Is this even a question? Getting even isn't enough; that just means they know what to expect the next time they cross me. If left to my own devices, I would say that "eye for an eye" is leniency at best. I'm not interested in getting even, I get satisfaction. Naturally, I haven't been convicted of a felony (yet) so I still edit this reaction. Doesn't mean I don't feel it, though.
9. I’d like to have the last word in any argument.
Always. And I thank my lucky stars that my wife allows me this luxury during our occasional differences.
10. At least once a week, I have the urge to yell at or even hit someone.
Once a week is too often, but depending on the week it does cross my mind. So does a jail sentence, though.
There we go. Maybe not the best state of mind to be in for a civilized society, but I think a little hostility keeps the sheep in line too. Hey, what's wrong with a little mental instability every now and then... it helps keep up with the masses!
Anyway, my ambitious colleague is going back to school and has begun taking psychology classes. In my personal opinion this is the equivalent of placing a hair-trigger uzi in the hands of a hormone-laden teenager hopped up on Red Bull. Still, it has produced some interesting insights from her and this blog is no exception.
She posted a list of questions which apparently gauge your hostility levels. Naturally, I don't really feel the need to measure my hostility levels since I typically exhibit SUCH an even temper (if you're not picking up on the sarcasm here, see my Road Rage blog). Since she has again put it out there for all to see (literary, people... not literally), I figured I'd do the same. According to her blog, more than 5 "yes" answers indicates serious levels of hostility. This should be good:
1. I often get annoyed at checkout cashiers or the people in front of me when I’m waiting in line.
Cashiers not so much, people in front of me yes. Look, I know it's a tough concept but you're in line to PAY FOR SOMETHING. Get out the wallet, start writing the check, open your purse, check back into reality... do SOMETHING to move things along. This is not a hard concept, people.
2. I usually keep an eye on the people I work with or live with to make sure they do what they should.
This only applies to work: I've stopped keeping an eye on other people BECAUSE it made me hostile. Not saying they don't need supervising, I'm just saying I don't do it myself anymore.
4. I believe that most people will take advantage of you if you let them.
Here's how I see it: give people enough rope to hang themselves with and they'll either throw it to you to when you need it or drop through the trapdoor and eliminate themselves. Put your trust people to begin with and IF they violate it, throw the book at them
5. The habits of friends or family members often annoy me.
Not really. Most people that annoy me aren't classified as either friends, and family gets the benefit of the doubt most of the time.
6. When I’m stuck in traffic, I often start breathing faster and my heart pounds.
Hell YES! Get the F out of my way! (sorry, Road Rage... remember?)
7. When I’m annoyed with people, I really want to let them know it.
Again, HELL YES! Do I actually do it? No... mostly because I prefer letting them let the world know on their own.
8. If someone does me wrong I want to get even.
Is this even a question? Getting even isn't enough; that just means they know what to expect the next time they cross me. If left to my own devices, I would say that "eye for an eye" is leniency at best. I'm not interested in getting even, I get satisfaction. Naturally, I haven't been convicted of a felony (yet) so I still edit this reaction. Doesn't mean I don't feel it, though.
9. I’d like to have the last word in any argument.
Always. And I thank my lucky stars that my wife allows me this luxury during our occasional differences.
10. At least once a week, I have the urge to yell at or even hit someone.
Once a week is too often, but depending on the week it does cross my mind. So does a jail sentence, though.
There we go. Maybe not the best state of mind to be in for a civilized society, but I think a little hostility keeps the sheep in line too. Hey, what's wrong with a little mental instability every now and then... it helps keep up with the masses!
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